I was pregnant with our second child. Our first Pregnancy went so well, with no battles to speak of, nothing out of the normal, we have a beautiful baby boy.
I was 11 weeks along, and things had not been going well, things were not “normal” and i just knew that this time, something was not right with my little one. I began to miscarry and an ultrasound confirmed that our little baby had died and that all hope was lost.
I was (still am) in shock and can’t believe that it has happened to me. Even though our baby was so tiny, he or she was still a baby, still our child that we already loved dearly and wanted so much. I really can’t tell you at what stage I am at right now in terms of my grief, it was only two weeks ago that we lost our little one.
I’m not angry now, but I have been. Mostly at people’s comments about how it wasn’t really a baby and that it should make it easier that I never met our little one. Yes, people really have said those words.
I believe that when you fall pregnant, you become a mother at that point. Everything you do, eat and breath, you know that it affects your child, so you begin “mothering” straight away. Nothing can take that away.
I miss my baby, and I always will.